We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
