Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
