There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
