no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my liver is dry heaving
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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