I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
