I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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