i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
