Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
