There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
