4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize