Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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