OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
