Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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