the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
