I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
