their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize