I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
