how can u be prego again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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