I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
