About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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