I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize