Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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