**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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