there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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