oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize