i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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