hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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