I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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