dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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