hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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