So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
