Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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