I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
