So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
