I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
