I think scott just propositioned me for sex
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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