so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i was born a porn star she said
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
