he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
