hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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