I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
