I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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