just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
