We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
