If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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