How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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