a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
3pm strippers are depressing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
