Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
