no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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