so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
