It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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