i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In other news, I just burned my penis
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
