the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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