white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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