I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
