Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
