READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
