no, he came in my armpit
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
