If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
