he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize