he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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