Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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