I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
