Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
