Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wear drunk well.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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