he told me I talked like a deaf person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
