i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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