oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
