would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Quick, to the slutcave!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
